“Unfortunately, 5 years ago I was involved in a near death experience. I buried my head in the sand telling myself I could deal with the mental scars that had been inflicted and telling everyone who was close to me I was ok…I wasn’t. Alcohol was my crutch, it help to numb, to sleep, to laugh, to smile…it helped to make me feel human. I wouldn’t say I was an Alcoholic but I was getting close. I was waking up through the night in cold sweats. Night terrors were nearly every other night and I would also wake up in the early hours being physically sick with fear and anxiety until my alarm clock would thankfully ring.
Earlier last year I had to leave home. I had to leave my loving and doting Wife and my 3 lovely children. In my head I wasn’t fit to be a Husband and Father. Something had changed deep inside and I was the only one who hadn’t noticed how much this incident was taking a toll on my body physically and mentally. Things went from bad to worse. I was suffering with P.T.S.D., Depression and Anxiety. I was living by myself with nobody to keep a watchful eye on me. I lost days of my life by waking up and not being able to face the world. I was an emotional wreck and my alcohol intake was slowly increasing. It came to a head when I finally hit rock bottom. My wife contacted ICARUS. I can vaguely remember my first meeting with Marion (ICARUS) I was in such a state…why had it come to this? I wasn’t me; I was a shadow of my former self.
I had 2 choices, drink myself to death as many of my friends had and at the time didn’t seem a bad option as I had stared death in the face or get the help I so desperately needed. Marion told me for R.T.M to work I had to be Sober, thoroughly sober. So, 5 alcohol free days later I had my first R.T.M. session. There were tears and anxiety though they were controlled by Marion and at no time was there fear. Marion was there to help and listen and also to put you at ease and over 2 R.T.M sessions (about 5 hours in total) my traumatic incident was put to bed. Mentally I could cope with it. I could talk candidly about it. The weight of survivor’s guilt that I had been carrying around for 5 years had been lifted. Life was now worth living. When you have hit rock bottom it’s a great feeling when you start to climb up.
I’m now 3 weeks sober and carrying on having R.T.M. sessions for other traumatic incidents in my life and I will be moving back in with my family later in the year. If it wasn’t for ICARUS I’m not sure I would be writing this now….Unsung heroes. Many, many Thanks” ‘Bill’ Anonymous client
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